In Loving Memory & Rock On

This semester I have had the great pleasure to co-lead an intergenerational rock band, comprised of Drury University music therapy students, and members of the Missouri Institute for Mature Learners. We have a truly multi-generational spread in that group, and we are learning songs as old as "What a Wonderful World," to songs from last year like "Wide Awake," by Katy Perry.

Yesterday, I was deeply saddened to learn that one of our most dedicated and enthusiastic mature learners, B., had a massive heart attack and died.

As distressing as this news was, I was also overjoyed at the amazing music therapy connections we made with B. and his wife before he had to leave us.

At the very first rock band rehearsal, B. and his wife E. were the first two mature learners there. The first thing I noticed about B. was his smile and that he was wearing a Phantom of the Opera t-shirt, which happened to be the same Phantom t-shirt I have. That was a great ice breaker. We talked about musicals and many other types of music we both enjoyed.

Shortly, we were commiserating about how hard it can be to find good parking on campus. B. told me if I ever find a good spot and have to leave it, I should mark it off with police tape, chalk out a body outline, and leave a note saying, "This is what happened to the last person who took my spot."

Already B. was sharing great wisdom with me, and I'd known him for less than 5 minutes.

One week, the Mature Learners meeting was cancelled because of snow, but the Drury students came for rehearsal because B. and E. braved the weather. They were enjoying their time with us that much.

One of the songs on the program is Bon Jovi's "It's My Life." I am getting to teach this song to the group, and my adivsor and the group director, Dr. Natalie Wlodarczyk, discussed with me how we could vary the program a little bit more. I suggested we could make the verses of "It's My Life" a solo. I also had a feeling about who I should ask to sing it.

B. was a little unsure at first because he had never heard the song, but he promised me he would go home and listen to it that week while he read over the lyrics.

When we met again the next week, B. was on board. He loved that song! I was glad my gut was right.

B. was supposed to sing the solo with the group for the first time next week. Instead, his life journey came to an end. However, his wife called Dr. Wlodarczyk to share some things, and this is what she relayed to me.

B. had been practicing the song constantly. He felt that the lyrics really described how he had tried to live his life because he had already lived through one heart attack and he knew the odds of another were pretty good. His wife quoted back the chorus, "It's my life. It's now or never. I'm ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive," and requested that the students from rock band sing this at B.'s funeral. We have also decided that the Intergenerational Rock Band concert will be dedicated to B.

While I know there will be a hole in my heart next Tuesday when I come for rock band rehearsal and I don't see B. standing in the back and beaming, I am beyond overjoyed that we could connect through music therapy and that we could teach each other something before B. died.

From B., I learned some practical parking wisdom, and more importantly, how to LIVE each day of my life because no one is guaranteed a single tomorrow.

With a little help from me and the rest of the rock band, B. discovered his inner rock star.

So, to this amazing gentleman that touched my life in such a brief span, I say, "Rock on."