In Loving Memory & Rock On

This semester I have had the great pleasure to co-lead an intergenerational rock band, comprised of Drury University music therapy students, and members of the Missouri Institute for Mature Learners. We have a truly multi-generational spread in that group, and we are learning songs as old as "What a Wonderful World," to songs from last year like "Wide Awake," by Katy Perry.

Yesterday, I was deeply saddened to learn that one of our most dedicated and enthusiastic mature learners, B., had a massive heart attack and died.

As distressing as this news was, I was also overjoyed at the amazing music therapy connections we made with B. and his wife before he had to leave us.

At the very first rock band rehearsal, B. and his wife E. were the first two mature learners there. The first thing I noticed about B. was his smile and that he was wearing a Phantom of the Opera t-shirt, which happened to be the same Phantom t-shirt I have. That was a great ice breaker. We talked about musicals and many other types of music we both enjoyed.

Shortly, we were commiserating about how hard it can be to find good parking on campus. B. told me if I ever find a good spot and have to leave it, I should mark it off with police tape, chalk out a body outline, and leave a note saying, "This is what happened to the last person who took my spot."

Already B. was sharing great wisdom with me, and I'd known him for less than 5 minutes.

One week, the Mature Learners meeting was cancelled because of snow, but the Drury students came for rehearsal because B. and E. braved the weather. They were enjoying their time with us that much.

One of the songs on the program is Bon Jovi's "It's My Life." I am getting to teach this song to the group, and my adivsor and the group director, Dr. Natalie Wlodarczyk, discussed with me how we could vary the program a little bit more. I suggested we could make the verses of "It's My Life" a solo. I also had a feeling about who I should ask to sing it.

B. was a little unsure at first because he had never heard the song, but he promised me he would go home and listen to it that week while he read over the lyrics.

When we met again the next week, B. was on board. He loved that song! I was glad my gut was right.

B. was supposed to sing the solo with the group for the first time next week. Instead, his life journey came to an end. However, his wife called Dr. Wlodarczyk to share some things, and this is what she relayed to me.

B. had been practicing the song constantly. He felt that the lyrics really described how he had tried to live his life because he had already lived through one heart attack and he knew the odds of another were pretty good. His wife quoted back the chorus, "It's my life. It's now or never. I'm ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive," and requested that the students from rock band sing this at B.'s funeral. We have also decided that the Intergenerational Rock Band concert will be dedicated to B.

While I know there will be a hole in my heart next Tuesday when I come for rock band rehearsal and I don't see B. standing in the back and beaming, I am beyond overjoyed that we could connect through music therapy and that we could teach each other something before B. died.

From B., I learned some practical parking wisdom, and more importantly, how to LIVE each day of my life because no one is guaranteed a single tomorrow.

With a little help from me and the rest of the rock band, B. discovered his inner rock star.

So, to this amazing gentleman that touched my life in such a brief span, I say, "Rock on."

How Did I Get Here?

I'm crouching on the floor, playing a guitar, while simultaneously holding and playing a set of jingle bells in my right hand. The strum pattern from my right hand shakes the jingle bells and makes them sound. I'm also singing and trying to get eye contact from an amazing little someone with an autism spectrum disorder.

How did I get here?

I never imagined I would have the desire or ability to find myself in that situation when I first began studying the flute years ago in 7th grade. Even though I didn't know it, that is indeed where my personal journey towards music therapy began. 

As a small child, I loved music and would spend hours at a time picking out tunes by ear on the family piano. I couldn't get enough. A family friend offered free piano lessons, which I took for a while, but being young and foolish, I decided maybe piano lessons weren't so awesome after all.

The summer before my 7th grade year, I heard a flute trio play for the very first time. After that, there was no going back. I had to learn how to do that. It was no longer a want, but a need.

I started private flute lessons and band that year and threw myself full force into both. If you asked me what I wanted be when I grew up, it was absolutely very clearly, "either a band director or a professional flutist."

Music education or performance were my only two options, as far as I was concerned. And, of course, I only listened to classical because pop music was "dumb" and "shallow."

Now I just laugh at my 7th grade self. (And also want to kick her for not listening to pop music sooner.)

Things continued more or less in this fashion through my sophomore year of high school. In my second semester, I was assigned to write a research paper on a "personally relevant question." So, my question was whether I should pursue music education or performance.

In my initial searching, I found the American Music Therapy Association (AMTA) website. The more I read, the more it became a moment like hearing the flute trio. I very quickly realized that this was my niche. The research paper I turned in was not about education vs. performance. Instead, I turned in a paper about the effectiveness of music therapy, the career options for music therapists, and what my personal action plan should be to send me on my way to MT-BC. I got to present my findings to my entire English class, so I was already advocating for music therapy.

That same year, I took a career and aptitude test at school. My top three results were music performance, counseling, and health care. My teacher laughed and shook his head and said, "Good luck finding one career that's all three of those." I told him that it meant I was supposed to be a music therapist.
 

Do you have a personal music therapy journey to share? Send me an email or share in the comments!