Oddly enough, however, today is a really great example of what a day in the life of a hospice music therapy intern might look like. While unexpected, everything about today was also fantastic.
7:50 Running late from having slept through alarm. No time to linger over morning coffee. Dump it and some ice cubes into a thermos like my big brother man does. Am wistfully reminded of brother and must remember to text him at next break.
8:00 Checking emails and closing out yesterday's paperwork after internship director (ID) looks over it. This would have been yesterday but she wasn't in yesterday.
Side note: working Memorial Day was not actually awful.
8:20 ID reminds me that music therapy has the "Meditative Moment" before our interdisciplinary team (IDT) meeting this week and I agreed last week to sing an original song since most of the hospice staff couldn't hear it at the talent show.
8:20:05 Rising anxiety. Thought occurs: "You don't have time to be nervous about this. Just go do it."
8:30 Find myself explaining how a former patient encouraged me to shout down my inner meanie perfectionist and how my nieces and nephews inspired the creation of a song. Proceed to sing a piece of my soul for my coworkers and find myself not totally freaked out by the experience.
8:35-9:45 IDT meeting. We do this every week. Basically, we talk about all our patients in either the care center and hospice house, or the community. We plan and collaborate as a team to ensure comprehensive, compassionate care for each patient's individual needs.
9:45-10:30 After IDT until lunch is my weekly scheduled time to follow our bereavement coordinator to learn how to fulfill this job myself someday if needed. We addressed the sympathy cards, made lots of phone calls, and planned a few bereavement visits.
Spontaneously decide my time the rest of the day would best be spent doing bereavement work to make up for a few of the bereavement days we have missed in the last few weeks.
10:30 Get email that the funeral of a very, very dear patient is happening at 4:00. Realize there is no way I am not going. Realize it means I will be working late. Realize I do not care.
10:30-12:15 Unexpected bereavement/pre-bereavement visits. Somewhere in here I show our bereavement coordinator my processing artwork book. She is intrigued by the idea. Will pass along to anyone she thinks could benefit from coping in this way.
Visits progress: Find myself visiting a patient I know well as she is a music therapy patient of my ID. Get requested to sing. Have no accompaniment instrument. Sing "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" with egg shakers and body percussion. Patient's daughter remembers she loves the Jeff Buckley version of "Hallelujah" and asks if I know it. Know this song by heart. Sing it acapella. For obvious reasons, am now super wistfully reminded of brother and make mental note to text him at lunch.
12:25-12:55 Throw together random assortment of healthy food in my apartment. Finally text brother.
Am standing in kitchen pondering this fact: Sometimes when I know a dear patient has a diagnosis that tends to cause a very rapid decline, I want to go see them all the time to squeeze as much caring for them in as I can before they die. Realize that this kind of panicky feeling is not helpful or necessary.
Thought occurs: "If you need to panic, that's fine. Just try to do it calmly."
12:55 Laugh until I cry at this thought. Decide to share my random brainworkings with Facebook.
1:00-3:30 Bereavement visits in community with people I have never met. Find opportunities to give them caring presence and attention. Learn as much as I possibly can about grief counseling from bereavement coordinator.
3:35 Change and print directions to funeral. Briefly contemplate ditching the instruments in my bag before I go. Decide against it.
3:50 Arrive for 4:00 funeral. Am suddenly being hugged by people I haven't met. Was mildly expecting this because I saw this patient the afternoon he died. Several family members asked permission to take video of me singing at the bedside because they thought it would comfort the family who could not be present for the vigil. Am super glad my efforts to bring comfort could be extended to them through technology.
3:57 Family realizes I have cedar flute with me. Asks if I wouldn't mind improvising something like I had done at the patient's bedside. I am touched beyond words. Begin choking up. Agree. Am glad I decided to leave it in my bag. Had tried to make contact to offer music for funeral ahead of time but spur of the moment would work, too.
4:30-4:35 Explain to roomful of loved ones how much I enjoyed providing music therapy to this dear man. Sandwich the "Going Home" melody from Dvorak's New World Symphony in between some improvisations. Play my heart out in beautiful chapel with tears streaming down my face.
5:00 Arrive in office to fill out paperwork for attending the funeral. Work on some projects for other patients and their families.
5:45 Come back to apartment and realize I just had a super awesome, totally unexpected day and wish I could have this day every day.
Thanks for reading! What was the most unexpected/awesome thing you lived through today?
